Self-Leadership What Now?

Why I developed self-leadership for educators

In recent years, the world of international education has become more intense, more complex, and far more demanding of the people who serve it. Conversations with colleagues, clients, and friends across continents reveal a quiet truth: many educators and leaders are suffering—physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. The levels of stress, isolation, and overwhelm I’ve witnessed, and at times experienced myself, are far beyond what I once considered normal or sustainable.

We now ask school leaders to be resilient beyond reason, to serve systems that rarely nourish them in return. The result? A pervasive weariness. Chronic stress. Disconnection. And, perhaps most painfully, the quiet erosion of integrity as well-intentioned people navigate demands that too often ask them to trade their humanity for efficiency.

After decades working across the spectrum of international schooling—as a teacher, a school leader, a regional leader, a coach and facilitator—I’ve seen both ends of the continuum. I’ve worked in highly functional teams and profoundly dysfunctional ones. I’ve led and been led by both technically brilliant professionals and deeply human leaders who hold complexity with grace. I’ve felt the deep joy of transformational collaboration, and the despair of burnout in high-functioning but soul-depleting systems. Through it all, one observation has remained: the most successful, sustainable, and impactful leadership—the kind that builds thriving schools—always begins from within.

That realization is what birthed this book.

For many years, I was devoted to the powerful systems thinking and collaborative frameworks of Adaptive Schools. I remain deeply aligned with its insight—that the visible behaviors of teams are just the tip of the iceberg, and that what lies beneath must be addressed for real change to take place. But I found myself drawn even deeper. I wanted to understand not just the interior life of the group, but the interior world of the individual leader navigating it all. What drives reactivity? How do we recover from depletion? What allows some to thrive under pressure while others quietly collapse?

What I discovered, through years of study, research, new certifications, personal reflection, and conversations with hundreds of educators, is that what we call the “soft skills” of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, nervous system regulation, and relational attunement are not optional extras. They are the very foundation of human resilience, collaboration, and leadership. They are core competencies—beyond those we were acquired in our leadership preparation programs.

This book is my attempt to map out the curriculum that was missing. The inner curriculum.

It’s an offering to every school leader who has felt stretched too thin, who has quietly questioned their capacity to continue, who has tried to lead with strength while wondering whether they were falling apart inside. It’s for those who have mastered the strategic and technical demands of the job, but know something more is required if they are to remain whole. It’s for those who have given their energy, time, and care until they had little left—and still showed up.

And it’s also for the schools and systems that want to do better. Because the well-being of the adults in our schools is not separate from the success of students. It is a prerequisite. When leaders lead from alignment, when teams are grounded in emotional literacy and mutual care, when schools take seriously the interior life of the people who make them function—the culture changes. The outcomes change. The children feel it.

This approach blends the theoretical with the practical. It weaves together insights from neurobiology, positive psychology, somatic regulation, systems theory, and adult learning—into a model for self-leadership that is deeply human, and profoundly applicable.

I have deep compassion for school leaders. I see the burdens you carry. I understand the compromises you are asked to make. I’ve been there—projecting competence while feeling untethered. And I’ve walked the long path back to myself, one inner skill at a time.

What I hope to offer in these pages is not a new system to master or a set of competencies to perform—but a way home. A way to tune into the wisdom that is already within you. A way to lead from coherence, not depletion. A way to be both human and effective. A way to steward yourself as well as you steward others.

Because happiness is not a luxury. It is a moral imperative.
Because the secret ingredient of great leadership is not perfection. It is presence.
Because the world needs whole people doing this work—not just good professionals.

Welcome to the missing curriculum.

Let’s begin.